You're not helping - 2/2
by Ricewind
Summary: Dawn asks for Anya's advice


Newsgroups: alt.tv.buffy-v-slayer.creative  
Subject: FIC: You're not helping - PG - (2/2)  
Date: Tue, 5 Feb 2002 10:47:56 +0000 (UTC)  
Title: You're not helping - 2/2  
Author: Nick Kean  
E-mail: buffy@beast.gen.nz  
Feedback: Always welcome - be gentle  
Summary: Dawn asks for Anya's advice  
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: Set a bit before Gone, season 6  
Primary Site: http://www.beast.gen.nz/Buffy/fic/  
Archiving: Yeah, go for it. Let me know where, 'k?  
Disclaimer: The characters and universe herein are the property  
of Joss Whedon, Warner Brothers Network, 20th Century Fox,  
Mutant Enemy, Sandollar, Kuzui, and Greenwolf Productions.  
The piece of fan-written fiction below does not intend to  
infringe upon copyright or trademark.  
  
  
  
Scene: Anya is clearing the cash register of the Magic Box.  
  
Dawn  
Anya, can I talk to you for a minute?  
  
Anya  
Just a second, I'm almost done here.  
(she finishes up - depressed)  
That really wasn't one of our better days. I need more  
customers or maybe each one should loosen their wallets a little  
bit more. Perhaps I should have a sale. No, that just means  
people get things for less. Why aren't more people interested  
in magic anyway? This is the hellmouth after all. There should  
be queues of consumers, stretching for miles, all eager to get  
their hands on high quality, reasonably priced magic supplies.  
But no, they are probably all out spending their money on food  
and clothing and other items I'm not selling. Any chance you'd  
like to purchase something?  
  
Dawn  
Umm, no - sorry. I'm after some advice.  
  
Anya  
Sure, Anya's advice line is open for business ... at the new low  
rate of only $1 a minute. Just joking - I know you don't have  
any money. How can I be of service?  
  
Dawn  
Well there's this guy I really like and I want him to like me  
back. What should I do?  
  
Anya  
Oh that's easy; you should sleep with him. Guys like that sort  
of thing.  
  
Dawn  
Umm, hello. Developmentally retarded 15 year old here. My  
whole young life I've kissed exactly one boy and that didn't  
exactly have a fairytale ending. I don't think I'm quite ready  
to go jumping this guys bones yet.  
You've been watching relationships for a thousand years, you  
must have some tips for me.  
  
Anya  
I always come in at the end. Not much call for vengeance  
when the relationship hasn't kicked off yet. I'm more like the  
siren that signals the start of injury time.  
  
Dawn  
That's ok, nobody else was able to help me either. It would be  
neat if you could still grant wishes. I know exactly what I'd  
wish for.  
  
Anya  
It doesn't really work like that. I would never have been able  
to grant a wish starting a relationship - it has to take the  
form of retribution. I couldn't grant just any old wish, like  
some crazy fairy godmother. There were strict limits on my  
powers.  
  
Dawn  
What was it like being a demon? Having the power to grant  
wishes must have been incredible. Do you miss it?  
  
Anya  
Sometimes I wish I had my powers back. But then I just have to  
remember that if I had not been stuck in Sunnydale with this  
mortal body, I would never have met Xander. Whenever I catch  
myself reminiscing about the good old days, I just have to  
remind myself how happy I am now.  
Dawn - I'm going to share something with you but you have to  
promise me that you'll never tell anyone, especially not Xander.  
  
Dawn  
Oh I can keep a secret - I'm like totally the Lucasfilm of  
Sunnydale.  
  
  
Anya  
  
When I was a demon, I did a lot of ... questionable things. I  
know that now but at the time I didn't really think about it.  
One of the things about demons is that life is seriously  
uncomplicated. My whole existence was very simple. I would  
find a scorned woman, or be summoned by one, grant her wish and  
then move on. Sometimes I might wait around to see how things  
turned out but usually it was "wish and move on", "wish and move  
on".  
  
You probably think that being a vengeance demon is just about  
curses and punishment but I never saw it that way at all. To me  
it was all about helping a woman who was hurting. Imagine  
loving someone with all your heart and then they just step all  
over you. There ain't a whole lot in this world that can top  
pain like that. A cut can be bandaged, a broken bone can be cast  
but how do you heal a broken heart? The best way to make it  
better is revenge on the person that hurt you in the first  
place.  
  
I never chose what would happen to the guy in question, I only  
granted the wish of the one who was hurting. The goal was never  
the vengeance, the goal was the healing of a broken heart.  
  
I pictured myself as a roaming "good fairy" - helping  
those who were dejected and needing some comfort. When I  
was made human again I lost my ability to block out the  
consequence of the wish. Not only could I not grant  
wishes but I started realising that all the good I'd done  
for women was outweighed by the hurt I'd been inflicting  
on men. A conscience is a terrible burden and I hated it.  
Sure, I had helped a lot of women but in the process, I'd  
caused an awful lot of torment as well. I just couldn't  
take it. I begged D'Hoffryn to give my powers back and  
when he refused I really didn't know how I was going to  
handle it.  
  
In the end I decided that the only thing was to try and  
make amends for my past deeds. I'd locate a broken  
hearted male and work on making his life happier. I  
figured that if I could balance the scales little bit, I'd  
feel less guilty about the last thousand years.  
  
Xander was my obvious starting point. Cordelia had just  
dumped him, Willow was back with Oz and Xander was totally  
miserable. He was putting on a brave face but I could  
tell how much he was hurting. I thought that if I could  
give this guy some measure of happiness that would lessen  
my own pain. Of course, it didn't quite work out that  
way. The more time I spent with him, the less I felt like  
finding someone else to help. He became all I could think  
about.  
  
Eventually I realised that I had become one of the women  
who used to call on me - someone living their life on the  
whims of one guy. That was when I started getting scared.  
I just know that something is going to go wrong - it  
always does you see. I was a vengeance demon for over a  
thousand years and still have contacts. I just know that  
I'm going to do something stupid as soon as Xander screws  
up. Knowing that is scarier than any vampire or hell god  
or ... or anything.  
  
This whole relationship idea is just flawed anyway. Having a  
huge part of your happiness be totally dependent on another  
person can't possibly be a good idea, can it?  
  
  
Dawn  
If you really feel like that, how come you're still with  
Xander? If you're so worried about hurting him, what makes you  
stay?  
  
Anya  
Because there's always that one in a million chance that  
what Xander and I have will actually last forever. Or at  
least until these bodies wither and die.  
  
Dawn  
And the men you punished for all those years?  
  
Anya  
Oh screw them. They got what they deserved.  
  
  
  
  
--   
Willow! I need service! 


End file.
